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Game of Thrones, Criticism, Etc.: A Rambling

game of thrones

I’m supposed to be writing on a book but I can’t stop thinking about the Game of Thrones finale last night. The finale itself wasn’t particularly memorable, but the mere fact that the show’s over feels weighty; there’s a void that forms out of the knowledge that something that captured the imaginations of so many people — for a decade — is finally over. Forever.

Myself, I only joined the party a few months ago. The wife and I binged the series pretty intently until we caught up to present time a few episodes into Season 8. And yet, it feels like the end of an era. It’s difficult to explain why a TV show seems to matter, as it were, but I’m writing here anyway in the name of catharsis. Since last night I’ve been in the odd position of wanting to read everything I can about the show, but not wanting to read anyone’s bitching. That didn’t leave much.

This is nothing against bitching, of which there’s been a considerable about in Season 8 (and 7…and maybe 6). If you watch the show and have the internet, you know what I’m talking about. To be clear, I’m not criticizing criticism in general or even Game of Thrones criticism. Much of what’s been levied this season has been roundly earned, and anyone close to me will confirm I whined about a particular narrative arc in the penultimate episode until the proverbial cows came home. But for the finale it was different. I wanted to turn it off. I knew there would be complaining opportunities abound — because the table was set for that long ago, and it’s basically impossible to wrap up such a vast, ambitious, and successful story in a pleasing manner, and oh by the way, remind me of the last Season 8 of any show that was really awesome — but for the last episode, I decided I didn’t care. I just wanted to enjoy it.

And enjoy it I did. I think they put a wrap on things fairly well, and I tip my hat to the storytellers for going to the lengths they did to give the viewers closure on their favorite characters. The missteps were laughably grotesque, but at this point, who gives a shit? The finality of one of the greatest shows in the history of television occupied much more of my headspace than any potential nitpicking.

The momentum swung somewhere along the line from unilateral fan gushing (“OMG have you seen Game of Thrones?? SO AMAZING”) to criticism about what was wrong (which is totally understandable) and how they should’ve done it, instead (which is mostly arrogant and unfathomably clueless). There was a petition to rewrite and reshoot the entire season. This, for perhaps the most successful television show of all time, and definitely the biggest since M*A*S*H.

The last few weeks my mind kept landing on that old quote:

There has never been a statue erected to honor a critic.

A timeless sentiment that is undeniably true and, at least in my case, also isn’t meant to discount the value of criticism. I think it’s a useful tool — necessary, even — and my spirit is in fact more bent toward criticism than most, I believe. It’s what makes me a dick sometimes. Point is, I just decided to ignore that part of me last night, and it felt really, really good.

In my most basic moods, I tend to respond to the groupthink-y tidal wave of marauding criticism of this show the same way Louis CK did about cell phones: you make one, then. Let’s see how good it is. But now, the morning after it’s over, I’m starting to think that’s actually the proper response, but earnestly rather than sarcastically. Hopefully anyone who enjoyed this show is inspired by it, and finds a way to chase the storytelling greatness they witnessed over many years, somehow in their own lives.

That’s what I’m going to do, anyway. It’s been said that there are two noble pursuits: those that keep us alive and those that make life worth living. I’ve never been much good at the first, but have devoted a lot of my time in the last ten years to the second, in some minuscule way. And I’m going to keep doing that. Because it’s who I am, and — apologies if this is slightly gag-worthy but it’s the truth — it’s what I feel like I’m supposed to do. And it’s nice to be reminded of what’s possible.

 

P.S. I picked the image above because it was hands-down my favorite scene from the finale. Character, to me, is the most important part of any story, and at the core of character is relationship. There was something subtly brilliant about the relationship between Jaime and Brienne, and I can’t imagine a better cap on it than what we saw. I’ll think about that for a while.

How Anna Delvey Tricked New York

Now that I’m caught up on Game of Thrones, I can safely return to the internet. Not sure if you’ve heard of the show but it’s good. Anyway…

I originally read this story last May but it’s circulating again because of legal proceedings. And if you like good stories, you should read it. Or watch the dragon show. Or both.

For a stretch of time in New York, no small amount of the cash in circulation was coming from Anna Delvey. “She gave to everyone,” said Neff. “Uber drivers, $100 cash. Meals — listen. You know how you reach for your credit card? She wouldn’t let me.”

The way Anna spent money, it was like she couldn’t get rid of it fast enough. Her room was overflowing with shopping bags from Acne and Supreme, and in between meetings, she’d invite Neff to foot massages, cryotherapy, manicures (Anna favored “a light Wes Anderson pink,” according to Neff). One day, she brought Neff to a session with a personal trainer–slash–life coach she’d found online, a svelte, ageless Oprah-esque figure who works with celebrities like Dakota Johnson.

Afterward, as Neff panted on the sidelines, Anna bought a package of sessions. “It was, I’m not lying, $4,500,” said Neff.

Anna paid cash.

“She managed to be in all the sort of right places,” recalled one acquaintance who met Anna in 2015 at a party thrown by a start-up mogul in Berlin. “She was wearing really fancy clothing” — Balenciaga, or maybe Alaïa — “and someone mentioned that she flew in on a private jet.” It was unclear where exactly Anna came from — she told people she was from Cologne, but her German wasn’t very good — or what the source of her wealth was. But that wasn’t unusual. “There are so many trust-fund kids running around,” said Saleh. “Everyone is your best friend, and you don’t know a thing about anyone.”

When you’re superrich, you can be forgetful in this way. Which is maybe why no one thought much of the instances in which Anna did things that seemed odd for a wealthy person: calling a friend to have her put a taxi from the airport on her credit card, or asking to sleep on someone’s couch, or moving into someone’s apartment with the tacit agreement to pay rent, and then … not doing it. Maybe she had so much money she just lost track of it.

Link to the whole thing here. A perfect read for company time.

It’s Audio Time, Baby

Greetings. I sent this out to the email list last week, and now I’m posting it on the blog for the unwashed non-subscribers. The audiobook version of FROST is finally live, and you can get it here.

As I’ve said before, I knew the moment I heard her audition that Addison Barnes was the right voice for this story, and I think she perfectly nailed the attitude and tone of Amy Frost. It was fun hearing the characters come to life. For the many of you who I know cannot read, this is the perfect way to experience the story.

ALSO if you sign up for a free trial on Audible, you can get this audiobook for free. Just follow the link and set a calendar reminder to cancel before the trial period is over so you won’t be charged. Everyone wins.

Banzai!

Sam

Mary Anna

A couple times after releasing Frost someone asked how writers come up with character names in novels. I assume for every author it’s different, but for me, it’s generally one of three things.

Some of them–like Amy Frost and Arnold Dooley–were just there the whole time. The name is one of the first character traits that forms in my head, and the rest of the character forms around it, and it doesn’t change once throughout the process.

Some of them–like Tonya Katz, or Todd from Emails from Heaven–I develop to suit the needs of the character. In my head, I know exactly how someone named Todd would look, sound, and act, and those things are what I was trying to get across with that particular person.

And some of them I simply steal from elsewhere in my life–a song, a TV show, or a real person I know. That was the case with Mary Anna, Amy’s best friend. It came from this song by the Wood Brothers:

It’s got nothing to do with the actual lyrics; i.e the Mary Anna in the book isn’t based on the Mary Anna from this song. I just like the name, and it seemed like a good one for a best friend.

Prosecraft, etc.

Frost on Prosecraft

I thought this was a cool site: Prosecraft. It analyzes books and creates all sorts of stats for them, like vividness, passive voice, and emotion. Reminds me a little of the music genome project from Pandora.

I stumbled on it the other day and saw Frost was added to it, and enjoyed reading all the different insights about the story and writing. It was also cool to compare it to other books or just look at the insights from other authors in general. 226,864 words, Steinbeck, good work. 

From the Frost page, here’s a breakdown they do of most passive vs. most vivid page:

And then the word cloud, showing how often certain words are used. You can select specific parts in the story to examine.

passiv

Slightly more coffee than I expected. Much more like.

ALSO

I mentioned this on Instagram the other day, but the audiobook for Frost is juuuuuust about finished. It should be ready sometime in March, and I’m really excited for it. Addison Barnes, the narrator, has done a fantastic job and absolutely nailed the tone of Amy Frost. I’ll post here when it’s ready, obviously.

HH

You’ve already heard me talk about this band so I’m not going to bang on, but I wanted to post something here. I’ve been going back through their catalog lately–as you sometimes do–and it has reminded me of their power. Lyrically, it’s that type of music that gets a little better with every listen; one of those where each time, you notice something new. Musically, Ben and Suze just have a good feel for each other. They make songs that don’t squarely fit in any genre, and I’m a rube for that kind of stuff.

To me, it never made sense that they weren’t more popular, but in a way I guess it does when you consider what is more popular. They’re each soloing on their own now, which is cool and also kind of a bummer.

Here’s HoneyHoney doing a Lucinda tune from a show I attended at the acoustically pristine eTown Hall in Boulder. Much like HH, that place does tremendous work and gets far too few YouTube views. Song starts around 1:11.

If you want to hear some of their original handiwork, pick a time when you’re alone and pull up Billy Jack on Spotify.

Ordinary

ordinary

I set two goals for myself a long time ago: that I wouldn’t be boring, and that I wouldn’t lead an ordinary life. For some reason, these have mattered to me, and I know they matter to some of you. And I’ve been struggling with how to keep these goals.

There’s an inevitable march toward ordinary in our world. When are you going to grow up? Get a real job? Etc. etc. etc. It’s celebrated, in a way. We know that many men do live lives of quiet desperation, and yet we’re told to follow in their footsteps. And I have before–I’ve made that mistake–just to find that it’s not what they say it is on the other side, and the searching doesn’t go away.

I don’t know what it is about the searching, and how it doesn’t go away. Even when you have everything–and maybe especially then. There’s no logical reason to want anything and that’s fine because you don’t want, per se. You long. You desire. You crave to know what’s over that next hill–just one more hill–what’s under that rock, or what’s in that person’s head.

It’s that thing that’s in us, sitting in the chest, waiting for us to give it attention. More, different, better. It pops up whenever it wants and leaves us feeling unsatisfied–always unsatisfied–because that’s the only way it works. If it made you satisfied, it’d go away.

But it does go away, for a while. Long stretches of contentment, fulfillment, and that whole thing. The feeling that you might be figuring it out, and that maybe the need to look will go away. Because everyone’s basically the same and stories are just stories and a lot of the time they have no real grounding in reality. The world’s pretty simple and not all that mystifying if we just sit there and look at it pragmatically. Maybe we can be ordinary. Maybe ordinary’s not all that bad.

The thought can linger, and if we let it, it can take hold. And if we aren’t careful, we end up on the couch with a beer in hand watching the Big Bang Theory every day after work. (Or whatever your equivalent is. I just really hate that show.) We can convince ourselves that ordinary is okay.

So it’s our job to say: no. Fuck that.

That’s our job, and that’s what we’re here for, because that’s the only way anything meaningful happens. And you know it in your heart, but you might ignore it as we all do, because it’s so much easier to ignore it. But what’s the value in easy, anyway?

So no. Fuck that.

Man-Eaters

man-eating tiger

Do you know about the man-eating tigers?

First off, not a movie; it’s nonfiction. Bengals have been smashing people for centuries in India. But due to recent conservation efforts and the marauding spread of humanity, tigers and humans are living in closer proximity than ever, and it seems to be making things worse.

Theres a ton to read about man-eating tigers, but this recent story caught my attention, and my imagination. It’s so outlandish—so Hollywood-formulaic—it could be the script of a movie without a single tweak. And it’s all true.

Honestly it’s got everything. In the first paragraph we learn this tiger STALKED THE HILLS and REPEATEDLY ELUDED CAPTURE for TWO DAMN YEARS.

NEW DELHI — A man-eating tiger that stalked the hills of central India for more than two years and repeatedly eluded capture was shot and killed by hunters after one of the most intensive tiger hunts in recent memory, officials said.

This tiger killed 13 people. That’s more people than most people can kill before being caught.

The locals joined forces to save their village, determined to put an end to the beast’s killing spree.

For months, the noose had been tightening around her. Hundreds of forest rangers fanned out across the jungles of central Maharashtra State, combing the bush for tiger tracks, scat, stray hairs, long scratches on trees — anything that might reveal where she was hiding.

It wasn’t that easy, of course (it never is), and so the operation expanded. The search for the tiger now included hundreds of people and a HEAT-SEEKING DRONE.

The hunt grew into a sprawling, military-style operation, eventually encompassing a heat-seeking drone, hundreds of people, more than a hundred remote cameras and a team of specially trained Indian elephants with sharpshooters mounted on their backs.

Elephants. With sharpshooters. Mounted on their backs.

Of course, this was no normal tiger. No, this tiger was as deft as they come, possessing the cunning intelligence of a super-being.

…this tiger was seen as unusually crafty.

Tiger experts say she had benefited from past attempts to capture her and knew how to slink through the bush undetected, sometimes just a few steps ahead of the teams of rangers and police officers looking for her.

They even had to call in the old retired tiger hunter and plead for his help. The guy who everyone knew was “the best to ever do it” but had “left that life behind him” and tried to settle down to a peaceful life in the hills. This is the exact plot of like three thousand action movies.

“She has learned from all these botched capture operations,’’ said Nawab Shafath Ali Khan, a famous tiger hunter whom the authorities had called in to help. “We’ve made her very smart. Brilliant, actually.”

Not even the might of the militaristic operation and its heat-seeking drones could successfully defeat the tiger, which at this point we can all agree is the embodiment of Satan himself. All is certainly lost!

But wait. Through pure chance, our heroes stumble on a possible solution, straight out of left field. Could this tiger have an achilles heel?

The break may have come from a surprise source: a bottle of Obsession cologne.

Obsession (a popular men’s fragrance in the 1990s) contains civetone, a compound originally derived from the scent glands of a civet. In areas where it’s been sprayed, cats take huge sniffs and roll around in it for several minutes.

Last month, the Indian rangers squirted some Obsession on bushes here and there, hoping to draw the tiger out. On Friday afternoon, the rangers sprayed some Obsession and tiger urine in an area where she was believed to be hiding.

This is where you’d turn the movie off for being too unrealistic.

Finally, the showdown has come. They try to take her humanely but since this is a movie and we’re dealing with a MONSTER, of course it couldn’t be that easy.

The plan had been to tranquilize her. But according to the hunters who tried to capture her, she roared and charged after being hit by a tranquilizer dart at short range.

According to the authorities, after she was darted, the tiger moved back, roared loudly and charged the open jeep. Asghar Khan then fired a bullet from a high-powered rifle. The authorities said it was in “self-defense.’’

The beast is dead! Of course, our hardened tiger hunter ends the scene with a show of conflicted remorse, because only through a deep empathy for the beast can he understand it so well.

“I am sad we couldn’t save the man-eater,” it read. Efforts to “save her faded due to the hostile terrain and her aggressive behavior.”

Finally, we have the final celebration scene, where the locals take to the streets to dance and celebrate the mighty reign of terror coming to an end.

Villagers in the area erupted in joy when they heard about her death, shooting off firecrackers, passing out sweets and pumping their fists in the air.

“Now our lives will be back to normal,” Hidayat Khan said. “We can go to our fields and do our work.”

Sometimes the best stories are right there in the newspaper.

Read the whole thing here.

Jumpers

golden gate jumpers

I stumbled upon this story from 2003 earlier this week. It’s about people who commit suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate bridge, and it’s incredible. I knew the bridge had a history of that type of thing, but I had no idea the numbers were in the thousands.

The whole thing is illuminating, but a particular passage stood out to me from a survivor of the fall (of whom there aren’t many):

Survivors often regret their decision in midair, if not before. Ken Baldwin and Kevin Hines both say they hurdled over the railing, afraid that if they stood on the chord they might lose their courage. Baldwin was twenty-eight and severely depressed on the August day in 1985 when he told his wife not to expect him home till late. “I wanted to disappear,” he said. “So the Golden Gate was the spot. I’d heard that the water just sweeps you under.” On the bridge, Baldwin counted to ten and stayed frozen. He counted to ten again, then vaulted over. “I still see my hands coming off the railing,” he said. As he crossed the chord in flight, Baldwin recalls, “I instantly realized that everything in my life that I’d thought was unfixable was totally fixable—except for having just jumped.”

I think most of us find suicide—even the thought of it—so hard to understand, and I’ve been wondering lately what kind of state of mind a person is in when they enter that place. This story helped me understand it just a little better. 

It’s longer read, but definitely worth it. It’s odd that I just came across it now, because a barrier on the bridge—such a focal point of the story—began being constructed just a few months ago.

Perhaps You CAN Go Home Again

Perhaps.

I’m back here. I have to imagine it’s been years since the ol’ SamNeumann.com has been active, but here we are. This is my site again. It feels a bit like going back to my old college dorm, but it’s been rebuilt and updated, and the updates were all done by me.

The ‘Lodge served its purpose for a time, but that time has long passed. This will be where I’ll post everything going forward (again), and if you’re reading this, you’ve already found it, and if you’ve already found it, there’s nothing else I need to say.

Thanks for following me around on this rambling journey, and I hope you’re enjoying Frost. 

See you soon.