Hey guys! GUYS! I wanted to let you know that my second book, Quitting Cold Stone (And Other Struggles) is out as an eBook today. It’s $2.99, just like the first one, so once again for less than the price of a Starbucks vanity beverage you can be laughing till the proverbial cows come home.
This one’s a really light read. It’s basically a collection of some of (what I thought were) my best blog posts from the past, revised and updated and packaged with a whole bunch of new content in the same format. For example, some chapters are:
– The Road to Branson
– The Wonders of Bob Ross
– Defending Nickelback
– Confessions of a Wi-Fi Thief
– To the Guy Who Leaves His Grocery Cart in the Middle of the Parking Lot
Anyway, I think you’ll enjoy it. It’s currently just available in Kindle format, but I’ll be working on paperback and other formats and will of course annoy you with another blog post when those happen.
I leave you with this picture and quote from Sisqo. Not because he has anything to do with the book, but because sometimes we need a reminder of what we’ve been through as a nation.
I hope this note finds you well. I wanted to write you to give you an update on things, because as you may have noticed, not much has been happening on the ol’ blog lately. “Well Sam,” you might say, “is that because you’ve been ignoring us?” And the answer is yes, but I assure you it’s for a good cause. The reason I haven’t written much here lately is because I’ve been focusing on my next book. Yep, another book is coming! WOOOHOOOO!!!!KHS:DC&$(&%^^%&%$&FSDF&%^$##!!!!!!!! KARATEKICK!!! EXPLOSIONNNNNNNNN!!!WER(*&($*(*^$@#$@#$!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay. Deep breaths. But seriously, I’m excited about it – the title is still in the works, but the book is going to be a collection of blog-style musings that will probably tickle the hell out of your fancy. It’ll include some of my best topics, as well as forthcoming gems such as “Confessions of a WiFi Thief,” “The Road to Branson, Missouri,” and “A Message to the Guy Who Leaves His Cart in the Middle of the Grocery Store Parking Lot.”
The plan is to get it launched by early next year, and I’ll of course keep you posted. But if I neglect the blog a little in the coming months, forgive me – I’m probably holed up in a damp basement room, pounding away at a keyboard under the dim light of a single exposed overhead bulb. Water is dripping somewhere and I likely have a blanket over my shoulders and some sort of chocolate bar half-eaten by my side. I’m either insane or 80 years old.
Ever think to yourself, “Man, I enjoy ebooks and humor and gas stations and Alaska – along with humorous ebooks about gas stations in Alaska – but $2.99 is just a little too rich for my blood”? Well, this is your lucky day. Actually lucky two days, because today and tomorrow (June 18 and 19), Memoirs of a Gas Station will be available FREE on Amazon.com. Just follow this link to get a piece.
Download, read, love. Hell, write a review. If you’ve been nervous about diving in, this is your chance – it’s risk-free. You literally have nothing to lose.
Just the fact that you’ve come to this page in the first place assures me that you’re awesome, so I’m confident you’ll do the right thing. Bottoms up!*
*Technically, “bottoms up” doesn’t make sense here. But I’ve decided it can go wherever it wants. It’s a pretty nonthreatening and fun-loving cliche. So bottoms up.
Have you read Memoirs of a Gas Station? Are you currently reading it? Is it in your metaphorical “to read” pile? Are you considering reading it, but first trying to get over your deep-rooted psychological aversion to books?
If you answered “no” to all of these questions, that’s okay. Seriously, it’s cool. I’m not even mad. I mean, sure, I put like a year and change into writing the thing, and I’m basically baring my soul for the whole world to see…but no big deal. I promise. Would you excuse me for a second?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then welcome. Come on in, take off your shoes, and get comfy. Let go of your inhibitions. Be with me. Take your coat off and let me fix you a drink. Scotch okay? Great. For you, I have a little something. You know when you read a book and your mind creates little mental pictures of people and places? I’ve come to destroy those. Not because I hate you…I love you. I just thought it might be fun to put some visuals with the words. So…some photos from the cast and crew of Memoirs:
This is Jim. I chose this particular out-of-focus shot because it captures the essence of working at a gas station: dread, regret, and shame. This was taken immediately after Jim found out he would be spending his summer working at the Lynx Creek Store. See the smirk on his face? He couldn’t help but smile a little at how much life had screwed him over. I can almost here him asking “Why, God? Why me?” It was a true low point in his life, and like any good friend, I was there to capture the moment.
This is Horseshoe Lake, the sight of many moose and beaver viewings. It was a fairly popular, yet cozy little spot. The farthest body of water you can see – on the left side – is the Nenana River. Our living quarters were situated near the banks of that river.
This is a bear. Not exactly sure where I found this guy, but I assume I was staring him down, holding a Bowie knife, and daring the son of a bitch to attack. Or I was in a seat on a bus, taking this picture through a glass window. You decide.
Damian (left) and Kenny, early in the season, getting ready to attack some hills near a place called Toklat. Yes, that Kenny.
On the banks of Horseshoe Lake, watching a moose eat dinner. On the other side, some parents and snot-nosed kids look on.
This is a Dall Sheep. I named him Roland. Kenny and I were near Savage River, climbing a mountain and looking for a suitable campsite, and this guy kept following us. At one point I stopped and waited for him to crest the hill, then snapped a quick picture before he could gore me or whatever they do with those horns.
That’s it for now, but do come back for more in the future!
Everyone please gather around for a quick announcement in the form of shame-free self-promotion:
In case you were wondering, my first book, Memoirs of a Gas Station, has been released as a Kindle e-book. It’s a fun and totally-worth-your-time account of one summer I spent working at a gas station in central Alaska. If you enjoy this blog at all, I can definitely probably guarantee you’ll enjoy Memoirs as well, because it contains the same sarcastic tone and general view on life. And a whole bunch of hilarious and fulfilling stories about animals and hippies and hitchhiking and stuff. Plus, it’s cheap – only $2.99. What a deal! You can get it for pretty much any technological device you own (not necessarily just a Kindle, although that works too). Click here to take a look.
Hey guys! GUYS! I wanted to let you know that my second book, Quitting Cold Stone (And Other Struggles) is out as an eBook today. It’s $2.99, just like the first one, so once again for less than the price of a Starbucks vanity beverage you can be laughing till the proverbial cows come home.
“Unleash the Dragon.”
