This Year’s Super Bowl Drinking Game

Well, it’s finally here. If you’ve been able to avoid ESPN’s relentless coverage of the Manning family and Rob Gronkowski’s ankle – and thus maintain your sanity – I applaud you. For the rest of us, we’re already sick of the Super Bowl, so the only thing to do on Super Bowl Sunday – other than not watch the game at all, which for some reason isn’t really an option – is drink. So without further yapping, here is the official Top Drawer drinking game of Super Bowl XLVI:

You must take a drink if there is…

– A mention or shot of Archie/Peyton Manning
– An Ochocinco sighting
– An announcer proclaiming “he can make all the throws”
– Unnecessary use of the word “football,” such as “that’s a great FOOTBALL play” or “he’s quite the FOOTBALL player” or “The New York FOOTBALL Giants” (not too likely because Gruden and Jaworski will not be involved)
– A commercial
– A promo for The Voice
– An artistic pylon shot
– A personal foul on Tom Brady (i.e. someone touches him)
– Gisele
– A Tim Tebow mention (he’ll find his way in there somehow, I’m sure)
– The Budweiser Clydesdales
– A ginger, any ginger. They’re fun.
– A Nate Solder (upstanding Colorado Buffalo and Patriots rookie lineman) mention
– Tom Coughlin’s face getting red
– Eli Manning’s mouth hanging open when a normal person’s would be closed
– A celebratory dance that makes the dancer look foolish (see: all celebratory dances)
– The announcers gushing over “The Patriot Way”

As you can see, these are mostly fun and unique happenings. There’s no “take a shot for every first down or penalty!” rule. We want to see you make it through the game.

Bottoms up!

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Sam Neumann | | Boulder, CO