The Otter Lodge Guide to Social Media, Part 2

For part one of this guide, click here.

Due to an overwhelmingly sympathetic response to part one of this list (and the fact that I was going to do this anyway), we are back with more do’s and don’t’s of social media. To the list!

Do: Follow the accepted practices of each platform.

Twitter limits its tweets to 140 characters. This is so you’ll keep your ideas short and concise, and find a way to fit them within that parameter. It is NOT so you’ll take your, long, rambling diatribe and spread it out over 9 tweets, each ending with a fraction to tell us which part in the series it is (e.g. “4/9” = Part 4 of 9 in Sam’s scathing response to President Barack “Hussein” Obama’s anti-American views on immigration. This is only part 4, so stay tuned for more half-baked thoughts and run-on sentences!)

Tweets are supposed to be short for a reason. Nobody wants to read your manifesto there. If you need to push your long form ideas on the rest of the world, get a blog. Like I did.

Don’t: Overdo it.

“Hashtags! My nephew’s roommate Braden – a bona fide “social media expert,” btw – said something about hashtags once. I’m on twitter now, trying to promote something. I must use hashtags! I must use them, now, always, and forever! It’s what Braden would do!”

This seems to be the line of thinking for many a social media user (hashtags extend to Facebook and Instagram now, and probably other stuff, too), especially those promoting products or managing their company’s page. I applaud the effort, but we end up with updates that look like this:

#Tech junkies: did you know some of your favorite #brands are #closingthegap on #integrated media? Check out our detailed #analysis on market #trends: http://www.shortenedlink.com #brands #techjunkies #marketexplosion

I won’t get in to the actual point behind hashtags here, but bottom line: those are helping no one. Nobody is searching twitter for “#integrated.” Plus, it looks unappealing. One or two strategic or funny hashtags are great, but like everything else here, less is more.

Do: Work out.

Going to the gym: I support it!

Don’t: Tell everyone every time you work out.

Sharing photos/statuses of you at the gym: I do not support it! And neither does anyone else in the world!

You’re working out. We’re happy for you. Guess what though? If you don’t post about it on social media, the workout still counts. Your body will still accept it. Hooray for health!

Do: Share old photos of you and your loved ones.

That stuff’s great, especially if it’s more than 15 years old. It’s fun to see you as a shaggy teen, before the rigors of life turned you into a straight-laced, no nonsense regional manager. Keep it coming.

Do: Remember to live first, post second.

We’re ending with a back to back “do” here, because that’s how the Lodge rolls. Bottom line: remember to just do the fun things in life, without having to always prove to everyone that you did them. I get you want to share the cool things on social media. I do it. We all do. But maybe not all of them, always. Maybe it’s okay to just do that cool thing, and share it with the people who were there, and not the whole world.

Some of my best times in life have been during quiet times on social media; a weekend in the mountains with my lady, or a thursday night jam session with the boys. Sure, maybe I’ll post a single pic or a random thought to Twitter, but the rest of the time, it’s radio silence. And not forcing myself to photograph and share every little piece of it with the world allows me to be present in the moment, and focus on enjoying the things that are happening, rather than documenting them.

 

#FindYourLodge

The Otter Lodge Guide to Social Media, Part 1

The social media scene is such a two-faced animal; great for keeping up with old friends, sharing your thoughts and ideas, and learning new things about people you know, and terrible for those exact same reasons. We all get annoyed from time to time by the things we see on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ Instagram, yet we keep coming back. Its hold on us is unrelenting.

But let’s face it: some people are more annoying than others in the social department of the ‘ol world wide web. We all have at least one friend who makes us cringe every time they post another annoying photo/video/political status. And if you can’t identify that friend, chances are, it’s you.

But there’s good news! The Otter Lodge is here with a few helpful tips to ensure you’re not that guy (or gal). We’ll call them do’s and don’t’s of social media, and as always, they’re brought to you with a pure heart and the best intentions. So:

Do: Share important moments in your life.

Get engaged? A promotion? Run the table in a beer pong tournament? We want to hear about it! Sharing important life events like these are what social media are all about. Post a photo or status and let the likes roll in.

Don’t: Share every moment in your life.

As with drinking and recreational drug use, it’s easy to take a good thing and go overboard. If you find yourself posting many times a day, writing meaningless run-on sentences, or just using the term “LOL” a lot, please, step away from the keyboard and cleanse yourself in the nearest body of water. Like many things in life, social media are more enjoyable when you use them sparingly. How many times have you said to yourself, “man, it’s annoying how little (Person X) posts on Facebook”? Probably never. When in doubt, it’s better to say nothing.

Here’s a good test: take whatever it is you’re about to post, and assume everyone else will find it exactly half as interesting as you. (They generally do.) If this level of interesting will still add value to others’ lives, you’re good to go. If not, move it along.

Do: Have (at least a small amount of) respect for punctuation and grammar.

I understand. This is the internet. It’s not the Harvard Law Review. The rules are more relaxed. We’re not looking for perfection here. But please, write in a way that if a person had to answer whether or not you’d completed the third grade, they would at least consider checking “yes.”

Don’t: Communicate with your significant other through Facebook.

Chances are, you read this one and thought to yourself, “well, duh.” Congratulations! You are a sane adult. But believe it or not, there’s a fringe group that will actually do their couple communication through public Facebook wall posts. Such as:

“Hey babe. Just wanted to say I love you and you make me SOOOOOO happy!!!”

Terrific that you feel this way!  May I suggest actually telling your “babe” this, and not the entire internet, which is what you’re doing when you post it to Facebook.

“I’ll be home around 7, can’t wait to see you ;)”

I’m confident he/she can’t wait, either, but are either of you equipped with a device that would send a text message, email, or make a phone call? Perhaps the very device you used for this post?

Do: Share photos of your kid.

Fact: you love your kid. Your parents love your kid. Your siblings love your kid. Hell, your friends might even love your kid. They want to see pictures and check up on the little bugger’s growth. A great way to do this efficiently is a social media post.

Don’t: Unrelentingly share photos of your kid.

You already posted a kid pic this week? Great! You’re set on that front at least until next week. Heck, why not give yourself the rest of the month off? Spend some time with that kid without photographing and uploading it. You’ve earned it.

What now? You’re uploading 8 more photos? Right now? I’m not sure that’s necessary. We just saw a few of him/her this morning. Our daily craving for pictures of your kid is satisfied. And wait…those are all basically the same photo. The pose is hardly even different. The kid…the kid is making the same face he/she made last week, too. That’s not a new face. We’ve seen that face. No, wait! That doesn’t mean I’m asking for more! Wait! No!

The truth is gang, when we see your little bundle of joy on our feeds every damn day, we start to grow immune to his/her charms. Maybe even sour a little. And we definitely don’t want to sour on your kid due to overexposure. I know, for you, it could never be too many pictures. After all, it’s YOUR kid. It came from YOUR body. You love it more than life itself. Understandable. Just remember, for the rest of us, there’s a limit.

Click here for part 2. 

A List of Things I Wanted to Tell You

1. I’m releasing a new book soon. It’s called Quitting Cold Stone (And Other Struggles) and is a compilation of essays and commentaries I’ve written over the years. For example, it includes chapters such as:

– The Wonders of Bob Ross
– Why I Am Condescending to the Automated Call System Lady
– What is the DEAL With Airline Travel?
– A Letter to the Guy Who Leaves His Grocery Cart in the Middle of the Parking Lot

Real hard-hitting stuff. It’s currently in editing and should be released in a month or two. And while it does contain some old material from the blog, it also has a boatload of new stuff and will still be cheap as hell. I’ll keep you posted.

2. After watching three or four episodes, I can confirm that Duck Dynasty is not the worst television program I have ever seen. It’s actually not even in the bottom 10. I’d say it ranks at least in the 30th percentile overall.

3. I’ve been on Twitter for a while now, and I enjoy it. I originally thought it was for stupid rubes, but have found that either I was wrong or I am one of these rubes. The best part, in my opinion, is the sheer amount of good comedy found on Twitter; before joining, I vastly underestimated the platform’s capability to be funny. People like Dave Hill, Damien Fahey, and Sammy Rhodes keep me laughing on a daily basis.

4. I’m writing a third book, too. I will not relent. This one’s fiction, and should hopefully be pretty good. We’ll see.

5. Baseball is being played again. I always find it odd how hot and bothered people get for the “return of baseball (!!!)” because it’s only ever gone for like two weeks. Then the next thing you know, pitchers and catchers are reporting and Yankees/Red Sox is on TV every third night. I’m not mad or anything though. America.

6. This is the first post here in nearly two months. That is too long. Now that my schedule is freeing up a little, I’ll try to post more funny stuff on here in the future. No firm commitments, though; I’m not good with committing to things, which you’ll learn in a chapter of Book #2. Hey, cross-promotion!