Covered in Rain

In my new book, a wrote a lengthy diatribe essentially breaking down why I’m mad at John Mayer. It’s a tough relationship we have. I’ll spare you a recounting of the entire thesis, but one of the central points is that he’s a truly phenomenal guitarist that too often doesn’t let that side of his music shine.

Usually people don’t believe me when I tell them he’s the best guitar player in current popular music. I didn’t believe it either, but then my friends Karl and Lee introduced me to his Try! live album and I started to see the light. The man may be a gigantic tool, but he can rip a solo with the best of them.

If you’re interested in an example, I recommend the following video. You have to get past the somewhat poor video quality and the baggy pants, plus it’s a 9:49 commitment, but if you appreciate blues guitar in any way, I promise it’s worth your time. Just don’t bail after the first two minutes. Trust me, it gets better.

Quitting Cold Stone (And Other Struggles)

3D cover 1Hey guys! GUYS! I wanted to let you know that my second book, Quitting Cold Stone (And Other Struggles) is out as an eBook today. It’s $2.99, just like the first one, so once again for less than the price of a Starbucks vanity beverage you can be laughing till the proverbial cows come home.

This one’s a really light read. It’s basically a collection of some of (what I thought were) my best blog posts from the past, revised and updated and packaged with a whole bunch of new content in the same format. For example, some chapters are:

– The Road to Branson
– The Wonders of Bob Ross
– Defending Nickelback
– Confessions of a Wi-Fi Thief
– To the Guy Who Leaves His Grocery Cart in the Middle of the Parking Lot

Anyway, I think you’ll enjoy it. It’s currently just available in Kindle format, but I’ll be working on paperback and other formats and will of course annoy you with another blog post when those happen.

I leave you with this picture and quote from Sisqo. Not because he has anything to do with the book, but because sometimes we need a reminder of what we’ve been through as a nation.

212410__sisqo_l“Unleash the Dragon.”
– Sisqo

 

 

 

 

 

 

Never Forget.

A List of Things I Wanted to Tell You

1. I’m releasing a new book soon. It’s called Quitting Cold Stone (And Other Struggles) and is a compilation of essays and commentaries I’ve written over the years. For example, it includes chapters such as:

– The Wonders of Bob Ross
– Why I Am Condescending to the Automated Call System Lady
– What is the DEAL With Airline Travel?
– A Letter to the Guy Who Leaves His Grocery Cart in the Middle of the Parking Lot

Real hard-hitting stuff. It’s currently in editing and should be released in a month or two. And while it does contain some old material from the blog, it also has a boatload of new stuff and will still be cheap as hell. I’ll keep you posted.

2. After watching three or four episodes, I can confirm that Duck Dynasty is not the worst television program I have ever seen. It’s actually not even in the bottom 10. I’d say it ranks at least in the 30th percentile overall.

3. I’ve been on Twitter for a while now, and I enjoy it. I originally thought it was for stupid rubes, but have found that either I was wrong or I am one of these rubes. The best part, in my opinion, is the sheer amount of good comedy found on Twitter; before joining, I vastly underestimated the platform’s capability to be funny. People like Dave Hill, Damien Fahey, and Sammy Rhodes keep me laughing on a daily basis.

4. I’m writing a third book, too. I will not relent. This one’s fiction, and should hopefully be pretty good. We’ll see.

5. Baseball is being played again. I always find it odd how hot and bothered people get for the “return of baseball (!!!)” because it’s only ever gone for like two weeks. Then the next thing you know, pitchers and catchers are reporting and Yankees/Red Sox is on TV every third night. I’m not mad or anything though. America.

6. This is the first post here in nearly two months. That is too long. Now that my schedule is freeing up a little, I’ll try to post more funny stuff on here in the future. No firm commitments, though; I’m not good with committing to things, which you’ll learn in a chapter of Book #2. Hey, cross-promotion!