If you’ve read any of Memoirs of a Gas Station, you’re almost certainly familiar with Jim, the worldly, strapping young lad that was the catalyst for – and my de facto guide during – the trip to Alaska. Jim is one of my best pals and, in all honesty, a damn saint for allowing me to write and publish so many (mostly subjective) good-natured but incendiary quips about him. He is a man of many talents, and I’d like to share one with you below.
Now, I may have mentioned in the book that we from time to time skirted our gas station responsibilities and/or played mind games with customers in an effort to maintain sanity. This is probably an example of that. On an especially boring afternoon, Jim decided that he would answer all customer questions while juggling oranges – an activity that he obviously mastered.
The question was about a shuttle service in the canyon; one we received an average of 37 times per day, and thus were robotically conditioned to answer. This could be why he made it look so easy. At the end, you can hear me applaud Jim’s work, then sulk back to the menial reality of the job and “ring up” the next customer. At least we had those 19 seconds.
Ever think to yourself, “Man, I enjoy ebooks and humor and gas stations and Alaska – along with humorous ebooks about gas stations in Alaska – but $2.99 is just a little too rich for my blood”? Well, this is your lucky day. Actually lucky two days, because today and tomorrow (June 18 and 19), Memoirs of a Gas Station will be available FREE on Amazon.com. Just follow this link to get a piece.
Download, read, love. Hell, write a review. If you’ve been nervous about diving in, this is your chance – it’s risk-free. You literally have nothing to lose.
Just the fact that you’ve come to this page in the first place assures me that you’re awesome, so I’m confident you’ll do the right thing. Bottoms up!*
*Technically, “bottoms up” doesn’t make sense here. But I’ve decided it can go wherever it wants. It’s a pretty nonthreatening and fun-loving cliche. So bottoms up.
Have you read Memoirs of a Gas Station? Are you currently reading it? Is it in your metaphorical “to read” pile? Are you considering reading it, but first trying to get over your deep-rooted psychological aversion to books?
If you answered “no” to all of these questions, that’s okay. Seriously, it’s cool. I’m not even mad. I mean, sure, I put like a year and change into writing the thing, and I’m basically baring my soul for the whole world to see…but no big deal. I promise. Would you excuse me for a second?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then welcome. Come on in, take off your shoes, and get comfy. Let go of your inhibitions. Be with me. Take your coat off and let me fix you a drink. Scotch okay? Great. For you, I have a little something. You know when you read a book and your mind creates little mental pictures of people and places? I’ve come to destroy those. Not because I hate you…I love you. I just thought it might be fun to put some visuals with the words. So…some photos from the cast and crew of Memoirs:
This is Jim. I chose this particular out-of-focus shot because it captures the essence of working at a gas station: dread, regret, and shame. This was taken immediately after Jim found out he would be spending his summer working at the Lynx Creek Store. See the smirk on his face? He couldn’t help but smile a little at how much life had screwed him over. I can almost here him asking “Why, God? Why me?” It was a true low point in his life, and like any good friend, I was there to capture the moment.
This is Horseshoe Lake, the sight of many moose and beaver viewings. It was a fairly popular, yet cozy little spot. The farthest body of water you can see – on the left side – is the Nenana River. Our living quarters were situated near the banks of that river.
This is a bear. Not exactly sure where I found this guy, but I assume I was staring him down, holding a Bowie knife, and daring the son of a bitch to attack. Or I was in a seat on a bus, taking this picture through a glass window. You decide.
Damian (left) and Kenny, early in the season, getting ready to attack some hills near a place called Toklat. Yes, that Kenny.
On the banks of Horseshoe Lake, watching a moose eat dinner. On the other side, some parents and snot-nosed kids look on.
This is a Dall Sheep. I named him Roland. Kenny and I were near Savage River, climbing a mountain and looking for a suitable campsite, and this guy kept following us. At one point I stopped and waited for him to crest the hill, then snapped a quick picture before he could gore me or whatever they do with those horns.
That’s it for now, but do come back for more in the future!
